Well, BLESS OUR LITTLE TRANSPARENT HEARTS. š
Apparently, McLennan County has suddenly discovered transparency, accountability, HB 2715, and the dangers of the āGood Olā Boy System.ā
Praise the Lord and pass the public records requests. š
Since weāre all gathered here at the altar of government transparency, I reckon itās a fine time to ask a few questions nobody seems particularly excited to answer.
Letās start with Jake Burson.
Jake Burson was a Texas Ranger.
Now he isnāt.
So, this simple country girl has a simple question:
WHY IS JAKE BURSON NO LONGER A TEXAS RANGER?
Before somebody comes galloping into the comments hollering:
āDO YOUR RESEARCH! GET THE PUBLIC RECORDS!ā
Well, sugar, I don’t think it’s quite that simple.
Thereās just one teensy-weensy hitch in that plan:
His personnel file May or may not be released.
Well, butter my biscuit.
Thatās mighty inconvenient when everybody keeps telling you to:
FOLLOW THE RECORDS!
I bet that they wouldbe tickled pink to follow them.
Could somebody kindly OPEN THE DANG DOOR so we can see them? š
And while weāre wearing our transparency britches, hereās another question:
Is there any truth to the allegation that Jake Burson had problems with a captain because that captain was a woman?
Everybody settle down before somebody falls clean off the porch.
See this?
ā
Thatās called a QUESTION MARK.
I didnāt say it happened.
Iām asking whether it happened.
Maybe the answer is no.
Great.
Then letās establish that.
But since weāre discussing records that arenāt exactly falling out of the filing cabinets and into the publicās lap, letās talk about another set of records while weāre at it.
PARNELL McNAMARAāS U.S. MARSHALS SERVICE RECORDS.
Those arenāt readily available either.
And you know what?
THEY WANT THOSE TOO.
See how easy consistency is?
I donāt want Jake Bursonās records released while Parnell McNamaraās stay hidden.
I donāt want Parnell McNamaraās records released while Jake Bursonās stay hidden.
I WANT THE SAME STANDARD APPLIED TO EVERYBODY.
What a radical concept.
And hereās another little government maneuver folks who file Texas public-information requests know all too well.
When a governmental body believes requested information may be protected from disclosure, it can ask the Texas Attorney General for a ruling on whether the records have to be released.
Perfectly legitimate legal process.
But from the citizen standing on the other side waiting for records, it can also mean:
WAIT.
And wait.
And wait some more.
Then eventually the Attorney General decides whether the governmental body gets to withhold the information or has to cough it up.
So when McLennan County sends another public-information dispute to the AG, forgive me if I donāt throw a parade.
From where the citizen is sitting, sometimes it feels less like:
āWe LOVE transparency!ā
and more like:
āCertainly! Weād be delighted to provide that information just as soon as we ask Austin whether we absolutely HAVE TO.ā š
Thereās government efficiency for you.
Apparently some records travel by email.
Others must first make a pilgrimage to Austin.
Now letās get to my FAVORITE part of this whole production.
Weāre being educated about HB 2715 and the terrible, horrible, no-good:
āGOOD OLā BOY SYSTEM.ā
Well, yāallā¦
Who introduced HB 2715?
PAT CURRY.
And where is Pat Curry from?
McLENNAN COUNTY.
ššš
YāALL STOP IT.
So let me make sure Iāve got my chickens in the right coop.
McLennan County is supposedly the corporate headquarters of Good Olā Boys Incorporated, while legislation introduced by a McLennan County representative is now being waved around as the sword thatās going to slay the Good Olā Boy dragon?
You cannot make this stuff up.
Irony didnāt just walk into the room.
IRONY KICKED THE DOOR OPEN, POURED ITSELF A SWEET TEA AND ASKED WHO SAVED IT A SEAT.
But underneath all the jokes is something very serious:
ACCOUNTABILITY DOESNāT COME WITH A TEAM JERSEY.
You donāt get to scream TRANSPARENCY! when youāre demanding somebody elseās records and suddenly discover the virtues of confidentiality when somebody asks questions about a person you support.
If weāre opening closets, letās open ALL THE CLOSETS.
Want Parnell McNamara investigated?
INVESTIGATE HIM.
Want his U.S. Marshals Service records?
ASK FOR THEM.
Want to know why Jake Burson is no longer a Texas Ranger?
ASK.
Want his personnel records?
ASK FOR THOSE TOO.
Want to know whether thereās any truth to the allegation involving Burson and a female captain?
ASK THE QUESTION.
And when government says records canāt be released, letās find out WHY.
If thereās a lawful exception, identify it.
If an Attorney General ruling is requested, letās see what the Attorney General ultimately says.
And if the Attorney General says:
RELEASE THEMā¦
Well, honeyā¦
GET THE COPY MACHINE WARMED UP. š
Thatās what actual transparency looks like.
Not:
āInvestigate thee, but donāt question me.ā
Not:
āRelease his records, but donāt ask about mine.ā
And certainly not:
āTRUST US ā WEāRE ALL ABOUT TRANSPARENCY!ā
followed immediately by:
āDear Attorney General, do we REALLY have to give them this?ā š
So yes.
Letās talk about Parnell McNamara.
Letās talk about Jake Burson.
Letās talk about Josh Tetens.
Letās talk about Pat Curry.
Letās talk about HB 2715.
Letās talk about the Texas Rangers.
Letās talk about the U.S. Marshals Service.
And letās talk about EVERYBODY.
Because if your definition of reform is:
āEVERYBODY I DONāT LIKE GETS INVESTIGATED, AND EVERYBODY I DO LIKE GETS A HALL PASSāā¦
Honey, you havenāt dismantled the Good Olā Boy system.
YOU JUST ROTATED THE SEATING CHART.
And bless your heart if you thought nobody in McLennan County was going to notice. ā¤ļø