WOMAN, MAN, OR TIMOTHY OLYPHANT
Hello, my name is _________________________________, I promise to treat everyone equally, file cases even if it’s against my own sometimes ignorant family, NOT hire my family members, and do the best I can while answering to you, the public. I promise to be accountable to the press and to each and every one of you. I also promise you I will always tell the truth.
Is that so gawddamned difficult? Come on.