Local patrons of the Tui Na House, massage parlor, on Washington are terrified of Zang’s return and wondering how much film she has brought with her now that she has bonded out again. However, thanks to never before unedited film footage, some shape changing bankers, a local restauranteur, and recently counselled by an unemployed preacher specializing in sex trafficking, Zang has come back with a new very AMERICAN venture.
BEGINNING THIS THURSDAY
Karaokee Night of at the RUB AND TUG
“Western Night” at the Rub and Tub featuring the music of URBAN COWBOY.
The new version of “Looking for Love in All the WRONG PLACES” written by Harry and a few like minded friends is below. We invite you to sing along. Hit the Karaokee version and sing the Waco version, we double dog dare you.
Now I spent a lifetime paying for whores,
Single bars and Showtime strippers were never true
playing with my own sell and hoping to win
Telling my old lady lies, then getting jerked off again…
I was looking for love in all the wrong places
Looking for love in too many faces
Searching their eyes, looking for traces of a banker that had been there before
Hoping to score a few more Viagras,
I’ll curse the day that I fround ya
you, oh, Zang at the Rub and Tug
Now I was alone there no rub in sight, I did everything I could to get off all night
Don’t know where it started, might end in the pen
I turned to a hooker instead of my wife’s best friend
I was looking for love in all the wrong places, looking for tug in little girl’s faces
searching her eyes, looking for traces of bankers who’d been there before
hoping to find a friend and a lover,
I curse the day I discovered, another guy , I knew, at the rub and tug
looking to for love in too many places, looking for love in sleazy places, searching their
eyes, hopin’ to find no trace I’d been there before.
Now that I’ve found a friend in a bondsman,
I curse the day I discovered you, oh, Zang at the rub and tug
I was looking for love in too many places, looking for love in stranger’s faces
hoping to find, no traces I’d been there before
No more looking for in Asian Massage Places
looking for love in slant eye faces,
searching to find dirty traces of the Antioch preacher that’d been there before
I was looking for love in little girl faces
Looking for love in sleazy places
Hoping to find little to no traces of the gonorrhea someone had left before
I was looking for in septic places Looking for love and unclean traces
Trying to steal antibiotics from my wife’s bed side drawyer
No more looking for love in Asian places
Looking for love in Foreign owned places
searching to find hoping no traces that I’d been there before
Now that I am a registered sex offender, I wish that I’d never surrendered, to you, oh, Zang, at the rub and tug
Disclaimer: Yes, we’re disgusting, terrible, irreverent, and bored. We’re waiting for the release of the other hundred or two guys arrested at the massage parlor to be revealed. Does it take THAT long to identify people everyone knows? Reyna isn’t around now, you might find a sympathetic prosecutor, or just a prosecutor. Where? On the Beach? Ok.