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A TRIBUTE TO THE PEOPLE OF MHMR

OR WHAT NOT TO SAY TO THE HUMORLESS

 

Okay, you know I am miffed at the very least that Sherre Johnston accused me of having sexual relations with my own son, now deceased. She also wrote it to me and to him that “she knew.” Neither my dear Greg nor I took this very well and it didn’t help the situation between Little Sherre, Purple Truman, and my obviously “crazy” self.

SO, Sherre begins writing me yesterday and, I, unfortunately informed her in writing that I was going to eat her liver. Yes, her liver.

Around four o’clock, a nice car drove up in front of my place and two nice looking gentlemen probably in their fifties drove up and got out of their car with mounds of papers and notebooks in their hands.

I opened the door and introduced myself and so did they, they had identification necklaces and when I asked them who they were with they said, “MHMR.”

I figured they needed directions to some other house but they informed me that a “group of my friends were worried about me doing something to myself.”

If you have ever seen me, you know that’s pretty stupid because you can tell I have taken great pains to stay thin, have long HOT hair, and look pretty good, I don’t drink or do things to THIS body to hurt it. I am in excellent health and take no pills.

I let them in and they asked me the usual Alzheimers questions.

“Who is the President?”

“What day is it.”

“Do you hear voices in your head?”

I passed that point quite well and proudly and then they got to the crux of the visit.

Have you threatened anyone lately?

I said, “yes, I threatened to eat Sherre Johnston’s liver and probably her toes today.”

They looked at one another and I made the cute sucking noise from Silence of the Lambs after he says, “with fava beans”.

Yes, I now have something in common for the infamous lawyer of yesteryear, John Faulkner who was found SANE after carrying a gun on a plane to Hawaii.

I also informed them that even if I had meant it I would have a problem finding Sherre to eat her liver because I have no car and my girlfriend refused to drive me there.

So, here’s to you MHMR, you’re nice, you are thorough you are funny and you can come and check my sanity any old time.

H

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