It seems to Harry that these people are INSANE. They think they can just spend taxpayers money for bullsh*t daily. First a cruiser, obviously, they cannot take the same cruiser to work, oh, hell no, gotta have that perk, now we have Bambi flying in the helicopter. After all, she’s the one you have to make happy just like Char. OMGAWD. Spending money for nothing just like Parnell. Where are the Commissioners? Where is King Felton? We hope that Rick Tullis will pull the plug on this.
🌸🐝 MAGNOLIA HONEYBOTTOM REPORTING LIVE FROM THE FRIENDLY SKIES OF McLENNAN COUNTY! 🚁
Well, slap some lipstick on a taxpayer and call her a flight attendant! Honey, just when I thought the McLennan County Sheriff’s Office couldn’t possibly give us another reason to raise our eyebrows, here comes the Chief Deputy’s wife with a FIVE-STAR HELICOPTER REVIEW!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Great views! Wonderful pilot! Highly recommend!
Well, isn’t that just sweeter than a glass of peach tea at a Baptist church picnic!
Apparently, Red Ribbon Week isn’t just about teaching children to say NO to drugs anymore. Evidently, somebody gets to say YES to a helicopter ride!
Now, sugar, Magnolia has been around long enough to know that helicopters don’t run on sunshine, sweet tea, and good intentions. Those big ol’ whirlybirds cost MONEY!
And unless somebody has discovered a magical fuel pump that dispenses free aviation fuel, I’d like to know exactly who paid for this little airborne social engagement!
Was this an official Red Ribbon Week function? A legitimate civilian ride-along? Or was this just a marvelous opportunity for the Chief Deputy’s wife to gather some fabulous Facebook content from several thousand feet above the peasants paying property taxes?
Because, honey, there’s a mighty big difference between public service and personal sightseeing!
Now, before somebody gets their government-issued britches in a wad, Magnolia isn’t accusing anybody of wrongdoing.
I’m simply asking a few questions that any taxpayer with two functioning brain cells and a property tax bill ought to be asking!
🌸 FIRST, WHO AUTHORIZED THIS LITTLE SKY-HIGH SOIRÉE?
Who approved the flight? What official purpose did it serve? Was this a scheduled public-service mission or a special sightseeing opportunity?
And precisely what part of Red Ribbon Week required taking the Chief Deputy’s wife up in a helicopter?
Did the children get to participate? Was there an educational presentation involved? Or was the educational portion simply learning that some folks apparently have better connections than the rest of us?
🌸 SECOND, HOW MUCH DID THIS FIVE-STAR FIELD TRIP COST?
Let’s talk about the fuel, pilot hours, maintenance, operating expenses, and every other little cost that comes with getting a helicopter off the ground.
Because, bless their financially adventurous little hearts, helicopters aren’t exactly known for getting 30 miles to the gallon!
And while McLennan County officials keep asking taxpayers to dig deeper into their pockets, Magnolia would dearly love to know whether we’re also financing aerial adventures.
We’re being asked to pay more taxes, and somebody’s posting helicopter reviews like they’re rating a weekend getaway in Fredericksburg!
🌸 THIRD, WHO ELSE GETS TO FLY THE FRIENDLY SKIES OF McLENNAN COUNTY?
Are helicopter rides available to every hardworking taxpayer?
Can we sign up at the Sheriff’s Office?
Is there a frequent-flyer program?
Do we need a reservation, a permission slip, or just the right last name and a seat at the right dinner table?
Because if there’s a county-sponsored sightseeing club, honey, Magnolia would appreciate a membership application!
🌸 FOURTH, I BELIEVE IT MAY BE TIME TO GO PAPERWORK SHOPPING!
And by paperwork shopping, I mean a good old-fashioned TEXAS PUBLIC INFORMATION ACT REQUEST!
We may just need to request ALL of those records:
- Helicopter flight logs and passenger manifests.
- Flight authorizations and mission descriptions.
- Fuel costs, pilot hours, maintenance expenses, and operating costs.
- Records showing who requested and approved this particular flight.
- Documentation explaining the official Red Ribbon Week purpose.
- Records of ALL civilian helicopter flights over an appropriate period, including passengers, authorizations, stated purposes, and costs.
Because Magnolia isn’t interested in somebody’s carefully polished public-relations explanation.
Honey, I want the paperwork!
And if this flight was perfectly legitimate, wonderful! The records ought to help explain it.
But if it turns out to have been nothing more than a sightseeing excursion on the public dime, well, sugar, that’s a whole different flight plan!
🌸 AND FINALLY, LET’S DISCUSS THIS FIVE-STAR REVIEW!
I just absolutely adore that the pilot received such glowing praise for making sure the passenger’s first helicopter flight wasn’t her last.
Bless him! That’s certainly a comforting endorsement of the aircraft’s ability to remain airborne!
But while we’re handing out stars, Magnolia has a few ratings of her own:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ for the beautiful views!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ for the Facebook photography!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ for an apparently unforgettable field trip!
And a big ol’ PENDING REVIEW for transparency, accountability, and responsible spending of public resources!
Because until we see the records, we don’t know who paid for this little excursion or whether it was an authorized public-service flight.
And that’s precisely why we’re asking!
You see, sugar, Magnolia grew up believing that public equipment was purchased to serve the PUBLIC, not to provide special privileges to the politically well-connected.
And if this was legitimate county business, the Sheriff’s Office should have no trouble explaining exactly what public purpose was served.
Because down here in Magnolia Honeybottom’s corner of Texas, we have a saying:
If the taxpayers are footing the bill, honey, we’d like to know why we’re not getting frequent-flyer miles!
And another thing, darlin’:
Just because you’re flying above the taxpayers doesn’t mean you’re above answering to them!
So enjoy those beautiful views, sugar. Smile for the camera. Give that pilot another five stars!
Meanwhile, Magnolia may be down here on the ground with her property tax statement, her magnifying glass, and a fresh stack of public information requests.
PUBLIC EQUIPMENT. PUBLIC MONEY. PUBLIC RECORDS. PUBLIC ACCOUNTABILITY.
And remember, sweet peas:
The higher the helicopter flies, the farther the taxpayers can see when somebody finally opens the books!
Bless their high-flying, five-star, taxpayer-questioning little hearts!
🌸🐝🚁
— Magnolia Honeybottom, President of the McLennan County Chapter of “Bless Your Heart, Now Show Me the Receipts!”
